Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
