Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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