God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
