he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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