I think im going to throw up on grandma
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
