we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
