Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
