What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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