dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
