Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
