What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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