we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
