Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
