Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize