3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
