Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
