Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
