whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Fuck appropriateness.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Randomize
