East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
