Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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