doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we're making bets on your personal life
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
