um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
