You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
