I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize