it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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