And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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