im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
In America we eat man semen.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
