can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
