i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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