I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
