Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
