Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
