I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize