Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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