Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
