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My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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