At least make sure they are 18
Why
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize