i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my being single is dangerous.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
