just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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