Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
