with your own penis?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
