i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i drank out of a bidet.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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