At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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