your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
