i just had sex bonerless
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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