Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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