I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
