you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Randomize
