She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
