the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
