My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
