walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
