the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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