last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
