quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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