Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
