Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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