unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
