I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
