I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
