he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
