he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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