I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
