no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize