I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
