So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
