Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
