I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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