I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize